Hey Arnold! Season 6: Misses Sawyer
by Cre8ivelybankrupt87
Summary: Lila hears more and more about the San Lorenzo trip, and feels somewhat left out of the loop. Moreover, the return of Arnold's long lost parents trigger some unhappy feelings she has buried about her own family. Feeling confused and isolated, she suddenly finds herself strangely drawn to Arnold again now that he is with Helga. Uh oh, not this again...
1. Outlier Lila

_**This episode is a long needed humanizing take on Lila, who for too long throughout the series kind of devolved from a genuinely likable and sympathetic character into kind of a parody of herself. After becoming a new love interest for Arnold, she basically got relegated to playing a foil to Helga in the Arnold/Helga love saga, and sadly became less and less likable, but not out of being intentionally malicious or leading Arnold on, but rather by being kind of mysterious in her motives, which just led people to believe that she was a manipulative person with a hidden dark side. While I don't think she's as perfect nor happy as she leads people to think, I don't think she's a bad person at all, so I wanted to reconcile Lila the nice innocent girl we first met, and the slightly mental case she later turned into. **_

_**Also, my imagined sixth season is turning out way more serialized than I originally planned as this episode directly ties in with the ongoing drama with the Pataki family. This follows the episode Miriam Under the Table, so be sure to read that one first.**_

* * *

Having just finished her lunch, Lila Sawyer sashayed down the hallways of PS118 with her normal air of sunshine and rainbows trailing behind her. Wearing a dreamily contented face, she ignored the usual turning heads of boys who eyed her as she passed them by on her way to her locker. She wasn't one to relish that kind of attention, but she was still self aware about being the object of affection to many boys.

One such boy stepped out to greet her as she passed him by.

"Afternoon, Miss. Lila," came the voice of Stinky who fixed her with a broad grin.

"Hello Stinky," she said politely, but continued past him on her merry way.

"Garsh, she really is an image of pure loveliness…" Stinky sighed as she passed by.

"She barely even noticed you." his friend Sid pointed out.

"Oh, I guess she must have a lot on her mind or somethin." Stinky said, "A girl like that has too much going on to be bothered by us groundlings all the time."

As Lila continued down the hallway she passed by the class queen bee Rhonda, who looked at her and cocked an eyebrow. She and her friend Nadine murmured amongst themselves as she passed by them.

"She hasn't said much to anyone this year." Rhonda huffed, "If you ask me she's turned into a grade A snob…"

The typically quiet Nadine looked at her strangely and asked, "Lila? Really?"

"Look at her, she used to be so friendly but now she just acts like she's too big a deal to talk to anyone." Rhonda said disdainfully.

Nadine considered, then nodded.

"Now that you mention it, she hasn't really talked to us since the school year started." she agreed, "Suppose it has something to do with the class trip? Maybe she's jealous she didn't get to go with."

"More like she thinks she's above everyone now," Rhonda suggested, "Which makes it so much harder for those of us who actually are."

Rhonda turned her head and watched Lila walking away without even a turn of her head in the direction of their gossip.

"I mean, she didn't even notice us." Rhonda said, then restated, "Snob."

Lila had in fact heard every word out of Rhonda, and while refusing to respond she was most certainly not ignoring her. Many people suspected that Lila simply didn't notice them while off in her own daydreamy world, but the truth couldn't be more different. Lila really could absorb information all around her like a sponge even if she didn't let it show on her apparently guileless face. She and Rhonda generally got along, or at least they had in previous years, and Lila was used to hearing far worse things out of Rhonda than what she'd just heard.

Lila's face suggested the lights were on but no one was home, but she was in fact so deep in thought, while also aware of her surroundings it nearly gave her a headache at times. She considered what Nadine had said, and in fact her words did hold some truth. She had been visiting her hometown in the country while her classmates had journeyed to Central America over the summer, and apparently she had missed out on some pretty major events to put it mildly. When the school year started she didn't really mind having missed out, but as time marched on she felt more and more isolated.

This wasn't a new feeling. Among her fellow sixth graders, Lila had always been something of an anomaly. Most of them had lived in the big city and known one another since preschool, but she had only joined their ranks two years ago after moving from the countryside. Nonetheless, she had quickly and effortlessly asserted herself into the fold by simple virtue of her pleasant disposition and multiple talents. She wasn't the type to feel overtly prideful, but she often distinguished herself as exceptional in many areas, from her schoolwork to her good naturedness, to her natural stylishness that never failed to turn heads. In spite of having found her place among friends in past years, she had never fully shaken the feeling of being a country mouse amongst the city mice. Even amongst the likes of Stinky, a country boy himself she never felt she could completely relate to as he had lived in the city much longer than she had.

This year she felt a very palpable wedge between herself and many of her friends and peers. She had only heard bits and pieces about what had happened on their Central American journey, and she wasn't sure she could fully separate the fact from the fiction, and suspected many of their stories to be embellished at varying degrees.

She at last reached her locker and unlocked it to get her books for her afternoon classes. She could hear the voice of Helga and Arnold conversing just a few lockers down from hers, and despite her attempt at being discrete she apparently garnered Helga's attention.

"Hey there, Anne of Green Gables," Helga said in a wry but not unfriendly tone.

Lila looked over at her. The girl was smiling with a rather smug look on her face as she stood leaning quite close to Arnold. It had been a few weeks since Helga had finally apparently gotten over her embarrassment at being in a relationship, and now felt fully comfortable not only being openly affectionate with Arnold, but also now constantly flaunted him like some kind of human diamond ring.

"Hello Helga," Lila said with a forced giggle, "Anne of Green Gables… oh you're just ever so witty." she commented on Helga's apparent new nickname for her.

"And you're just ever so flattering," Helga said slightly mockingly, causing Arnold to frown.

"I hope I didn't interrupt anything." Lila said.

"Oh we were just reminiscing about this and that," Helga sighed. "Mostly about our whole… summer adventure."

Lila groaned internally as she continued to smile pleasantly, looking at them through glassy eyes.

"Gosh, that sounds ever so exciting." she said.

"Yep, sure was." Helga said, "Don't worry, some day I'll put it all to paper, then sell the movie rights and that should have you all caught up."

"Too bad you didn't get to come," Arnold said, sensing Helga was ostracizing Lila slightly, "It was a lot of fun. Well, mostly…" He added, somewhat darkly.

"Oh, yes." Lila said, "I'm sure I would have had just an oh so wonderful time with you both."

"Yeah, too bad," Helga said unconvincingly, as she grabbed Arnold's hand very purposefully, "What were you up to all summer, again?"

Lila almost narrowed her eyes as she looked at Helga, but stopped herself as an uncomfortable feeling rose in her.

"I was just back in my ever so quaint and charming home town for a visit," she said, "Just… visiting my mother."

"Oh." Arnold said, with a strange look on his face, "That's great. How was she?"

A shadow seemed to pass over Lila's normally sunny face.

"Oh, just the same as ever," Lila said with a slight sigh, but then went back to smiling. "Anyway, I'll just leave you two to your 'reminiscing.' I don't want to feel like a third wheel."

She waved at them, then grabbed her books and headed off without another word.

When the school day at last ended, Lila boarded the bus that would take her back home. She walked past several of her friends and classmates, and then spotted Sheena sitting towards the back. She smiled and walked over to her.

"Hello Sheena," she said, "Can I sit with you?"

Sheena smiled, then spoke in her flutey voice, "Why of course, Lila."

Lila sat down next to her. Similar to herself, Sheena had not been able to attend the class trip and had no chronicles of misadventures to gab on about like so many others. Lila hadn't given it much thought before, but now felt a certain camaraderie with the girl based purely on the lack of an experience they both shared. Otherwise she and Sheena had never run in the same circles.

"I don't think we've talked in a very long time." Sheena said.

"I suppose not," Lila affirmed, "Well, let's catch up. I'm sure we could find ever so much to talk about."

"Oh certainly," Sheena said, "As a matter of fact I was just waiting on Eugene."

"Ta da!" said boy announced himself as he appeared in the seat before them, "Hello, ladies!"

Sheena smiled at Lila, "He was going to tell me more about his adventures in San Lorenzo!"

Lila's heart instantly sank.

"Oh… gosh, I'm sure that would be just be oh so… enthralling." she sighed.

"Did I tell you about the time I ate pitaya, then ballooned up to the size of a boulder and ironically saved the day with my horrible deformity?" Eugene asked.

"Oh dozens of times," Sheena said while clapping, "But it gets better with every retelling. Start from the beginning!"

"Very well, we arrived in sunny San Lorenzo by commercial airline, all of our spirits were sky high despite reaching ground level once again, unaware of the terrible trials that awaited us in the dark foreboding jungles…"

Lila feigned interest on the surface, but as her mind wandered Eugene's retelling turned to a faint buzz in her ears before she tuned him out entirely. She wasn't accustomed to feeling genuinely put off just by the happiness of others, but for some inscrutable reason this entire jungle saga she kept hearing about had started to bother her.

That evening, Lila sat at the dinner table across from her father. Neither of them had said much since sitting down to eat, but Lila could sense something amiss by her father's general demeanor.

"Uh, how was work today, daddy?" she asked.

"Oh it's the usual old grind, but it keeps food on the table." he said casually. As Lila looked at him however a guilty look crossed his face.

"Is everything all right, daddy?" she asked.

"Oh yeah, sure, everything's great it's um… well I uh…" he stumbled a bit, clearly trying to think of the right words to break whatever news he had. Finally he fixed her with a sincere smile and said, "Aw, Lila, I gotta be honest with ya. Truth is, well…"

Lila braced herself, fearing the worst; that being sudden unemployment.

"The truth is, well, you deserve to know I uh… I met someone."

That revelation should have relieved Lila's anxiety, but instead just replaced it with an entirely different sort of worry.

"Met someone?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said, looking somewhat embarrassed but also happy, "I mean, I've known her for a while, she's a co-worker and all I just haven't really gotten to know her well until just recently."

"Gosh," Lila said, struggling to keep her happy face on, "Just… how well?"

Mr. Sawyer could see her clear discomfort with the idea, and tried to reassure her.

"Oh, we've just gotten to be real good friends but… well, the truth is I really… I like her a lot." he said.

"Like her?" Lila asked coyly, "Like you… like her like her?"

Her father chuckled, "Is that how you kids put it these days? Well, yeah I guess you could say that. In fact, I uh, I invited her to dinner here this weekend. I thought it was only fair that you should meet her."

Lila went numb. She loved her father dearly, and she knew that he loved her equally. She had only ever wanted him to be happy ever since the complications that drove them from their small hometown to Hillwood in the first place, years ago, but in all that time he had been so preoccupied with securing gainful employment and putting a roof over their heads, he seemingly didn't have time for dating. She had never really considered what would it would be like if he ever did move on from her mother after all this time.

"Oh, why that sounds just… ever so…" Lila tried to fake happiness but found she just couldn't. Always in tuned with his daughter and her feelings, Mr. Sawyer stepped over to her chair and knelt down to her.

"Aw, Lila," he said, "I know it's not easy. It hasn't been for me either, but… we have to keep moving forward. It's been hard for me too without your mom, but I haven't forgotten her. And I don't want you to either. That's why I want you to meet Becky. It's important to me that you like her too before… well before anything else happens."

Lila nodded. She knew he was right, even if it was a bitter pill to swallow she didn't want her father to go on feeling lonely. She wasn't even worried this potential girlfriend of his would come between the two of them, rather after visiting her mother this past summer she had slowly started to realize she had some unresolved feelings about how things had ended two years ago.


	2. Green Eyes

The next day, Lila sat alone in the lunchroom, forking at her pasta salad without much of an appetite, as had sadly become her routine lately. Her feelings of isolation from the other kids hadn't dissipated, and now with the added anxiety over her father's budding relationship with the faceless 'Becky,' only added another uncomfortable layer to her sadness. Not even the nicest or friendliest of her peers seemed to notice her sitting alone today. Phoebe and Gerald's attention were firmly fixed on one another, and not even Stinky, who had been giving her signals occasionally seemed to be paying her any mind. With everyone now on the cusp of adolescence, couples were beginning to pop up all around, which only hammered home the unfortunate reminder of her father entering the dating world while she herself sat alone.

Lila's eyes wandered over to the table where Arnold and Helga sat. Helga was repeatedly hooking her arm around Arnold's as he kept squirming loose from her hold. He clearly wasn't annoyed or bothered by Helga's advances, this just seemed to be their little game of teasing one another. Lila smiled at the two of them. They still didn't realize it, but she had long been secretly rooting for them as a couple, ever since she first needled Helga's secret crush out of her two years ago. Always quietly observant, she had surmised from Helga's behavior that her constant abuse towards Arnold may have been a cover for some very different feelings than hate for him. She had since become Helga's secret keeper, under pain of death, leading to a rather unique and somewhat complicated relationship between the two girls. In all that time, owing to complicated misunderstandings, Arnold had actually fallen hard for Lila herself. She couldn't deny, Arnold was a real catch, and in another world she would have felt happy to have become more than friends with him, but at the same time knew in her heart the two of them would have never worked as a couple. He may have been nice, caring, generous, perhaps not that interesting but through and through a good egg.

As she mused over what might have been, she found herself strangely unable to get Arnold off her mind. She looked back over to his table and saw he and Helga had ceased their little game and were just staring into each others eyes lovingly. Lila could almost see the light sparkling in Arnold's emerald eyes from across the room. She had never really looked that closely into his eyes, but even at this distance she couldn't deny to herself they were really a sight to behold. As these thoughts occurred to her she shook her head and admonished herself.

"I just like him," she told herself, "I don't like him like him."

School came and went, and Lila passed by the bus stop without boarding, opting instead for a long walk to be alone with her thoughts. Her feelings of isolation had compounded with her familial discomfort, leaving her feeling lonelier and more confused than ever before. Stranger still, she just couldn't seem to get Arnold off her mind. She kept walking and eventually reached the park. This secluded area of the city stood as the only even remote reminder of her life in the country. The smell of the city never exactly faded even as she worked her way deep into the park, but at least the green natural surroundings were a reasonable facsimile of her home town. Lost in her own world, the hours passed as Lila's mind wandered back to a time when her family was still whole. She could see her mother and father, laughing together. She saw herself lying in bed, breathing in the fresh country air wafting through her open window along with the melodic chirping of crickets. Nature's nocturnal symphony was joined by the melodious voice of her mother's singing, lulling young Lila to sleep.

"Goodnight, I love you ever so much," her mother whispered, "My perfect little girl… Lila…"

"Lila!" another voice interrupted suddenly, breaking her out of her cherished memories. "Look out!"

She looked up and saw a frisbee flying towards her. With a shriek, she covered her face expecting to feel the impact of the disc but instead heard the sound of it being caught. Opening her eyes she saw none other than Helga, holding the frisbee and looking quite victorious.

"Guess you owe me your life now, huh?" she quipped.

"I… um…" as Lila struggled to find words, Arnold and a woman Lila hadn't seen before came running over.

"Sorry Lila," Arnold said.

"My aim is still a little off," the woman said.

"Oh, I'm certain it was just an accident." Lila said, "No need to apologize."

"I don't think you've met Lila, mom." Arnold gestured to the woman and said, "And Lila? This is my mom."

"Hello, Lila," Arnold's mother smiled and waved. "He's still catching me up on who all his friends are. You tend to miss out on a few things when you're lost in the jungle." She laughed.

"Oh, hello," Lila said, curtseying to her. "Um, Mrs. Shortman?"

"Well, what a proper young lady," Mrs. Shortman said approvingly.

"Oh yeah, she's the nicest most feminine girl in school," Helga said in a sickly sweet voice, "She's just ever so lovely."

Lila ignored Helga's taunting, just as she usually did. She kept her attention on Arnold's mother, whose warm demeanor felt uncomfortably familiar to her.

"We should probably be getting home, kids," Mrs. Shortman said, "Grandma said dinner would be ready close to five."

"We're eating dinner at five?" Helga asked, "What are they? Old? Oh, right…"

"You're going home with them, Helga?" Lila asked.

"Yeah, I've been ducking at the boarding house lately," Helga said, "Things at home took a major turn for the crappy. Gotta say though, Stella makes for one awesome substitute for my own loser mom."

"Helga…" Arnold's mother said, scoldingly.

"What?" Helga asked, "I said you were awesome."

"Yes, but you don't need to say things like that about your own mother." Stella said.

"Ah, who needs her." Helga shrugged, "Come on, granny's cooking is calling my name. 'Helga!'"

As Helga trotted away, Arnold and his mother smiled and waved goodbye to Lila as then set off after her. Lila stood in silence, looking down at her feet in sadness. Helga couldn't have known just how wounding her callous disregard for her mother could have been to Lila. On top of that, now seeing Arnold reunited with his mother evoked strange feelings within her.

With Helga's unwittingly cruel words still eating at her, Lila stepped onto the stoop of her house and opened the door.

"Lila?" a hauntingly familiar woman's voice suddenly filled her ears.

Lila spun on her heal and glanced around, searching for the source of the ghostly voice, but saw no one. The voice had sounded so real, but apparently didn't exist outside of her own mind. She sighed and sadly walked inside, up the stairs and into her room. She glanced around at her assortment of decorations meant to evoke memories of her life in the country. As of now she didn't want to think about such things as she slumped down onto her chair.

Her mind wandered back to Arnold's mother. She like everyone else had heard through the grapevine the details of Arnold's reunion with his long lost parents in San Lorenzo. The two of them had apparently disappeared when Arnold was very little, and were thought by most to no longer dwell amongst the living. Arnold's unwavering determination to find them had apparently proven otherwise. Lila missed out on the trip itself, but had reflexively felt only joy for her friend, and how could anyone not feel touched if not inspired by such an unlikely reunion between parents and child? She certainly had no cause to be envious of Arnold for having his mother miraculously back in his life, or so she told herself.

Lila glanced over at the large wooden chest sitting on the floor beneath her bookshelf hanging on the wall. She hadn't given it much thought in some time, but she found her eyes fixed to the words on it that read 'hope chest.' Slowly she walked over to it, carefully opened it and reached inside. Atop several mementos from her old life she found a small framed picture that she retrieved and looked at. The immortalized image looked at her with loving eyes and a warm smile. Lila touched the glass and sighed.

"Why couldn't you come back…" she asked the picture, as her eyes watered and she sniffled softly.

* * *

_**If you haven't noticed by now, Helga's going to serve as the nominal antagonist for this particular story. After all the great character development she got in the actual series, I tend to forget what a great villain she could be. In this case she's not actively trying to hurt Lila, but she's still not terribly sensitive and is still insecure enough to see Lila as a potential threat. So far she's just taken a few little pot shots at her and accidentally crossed a line with Lila...**_

_**In the next chapter, things get ugly...**_


	3. No More Miracles

Darkness overtook Lila as the night closed in around her. She eventually closed her eyes and drifted out of her own world into another. When she opened her eyes she found herself standing on a hill overlooking an endless sea of green countryside. Acres of farmland spanned the horizon, and the fresh smell of growing crops filled her senses. On either side of her stood her mother and father, and the three of them smiled as they surveyed the rich heartland they called home.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Her father remarked.

"Just ever so much." Her mother agreed.

Lila said nothing but smiled broadly as she looked back and forth between her loving parents. The two of them held hands tightly, signifying their unbreakable bond. In the midst of their tender moment together as a family, the air around them filled with a mournful sound, as if all the livestock across the countryside were all wailing in anguish. Lila turned her attention from her parents back to the pastures before them. Suddenly all the color began to drain from the green fields, and every living thing in sight abruptly began to shrivel and die. She watched in horror as stalks of corn retreated into the once rich brown earth below, which now had turned as grey as city pavement. She turned to her right and saw her father, no longer smiling, and then as she looked to her left where her mother once stood. Now there was no one in her place.

"Mommy!" she cried out.

"She's gone." her father's voice came from the distance

Lila turned back to her father who was slowly fading off into the distance as well.

"Come on, Lila. We have to leave… we can't stay here… we have to move forward…"

"No!" Lila protested, "This is home!"

"We'll have a new home…" her father said, as a dingy looking building appeared behind him, "Come on. Come meet Becky…"

A shadowy figure appeared over her father's shoulder and likewise beckoned for Lila to come to them.

"No…" Lila protested, "You're not my mother… that's not my home… this is…"

Lila trailed off as she noticed something else. Just over the horizon she could see a the silhouette of a figure, standing still and waving in her direction.

"Mom…" Lila murmured, and she took off running towards the figure.

As she drew nearer and nearer the figure became more and more clear. As the shadows obscuring her face faded away Lila could see her. Her short auburn hair danced in the wind, and her warm smile beckoned Lila closer, but as she drew close she suddenly stopped dead in her tracks, at last recognizing the woman. It was a mother, but not hers.

"Mom!" shouted another voice. Lila turned and saw Arnold rushing towards his mother who met him with open arms.

"You're back!" he cried as his mother scooped him up in her arms and held him tight.

"Oh Arnold… it's a miracle…" she said, "How did you do it?"

"I just never gave up hope, mom." he said.

Lila watched the mother son reunion and felt despair wash over her. All around them, the countryside continued to disintegrate before Lila's very eyes, and the buildings of Hillwood began sprouting from the cornfield like giant, lifeless, abominable crops. Everything Lila once held dear had transformed into a harsh unfamiliar world, and now she felt like a stranger.

"Mom?" Lila uttered.

Arnold and his mother turned to her and frowned.

"This is _my_ mom." Arnold said, "Just move on."

The sky turned black, and the growing darkness engulfed everything around them. Lila watched as everything but Arnold and his mother disappeared from sight in the bleak blackness but suddenly found herself sitting up in her bed. She glanced around and saw all the familiar trappings of her room in the house she and her father inhabited in Hillwood. She breathed a sigh of relief, but felt the same growing feeling of sadness that had been nagging her for the past few days grow even stronger. Even in her dreams she couldn't escape her confusing twisted feelings concerning Arnold. She knew in her heart what she was feeling was wrong, but she couldn't help herself. The pain was too great and even if what she wanted from him seemed impossible, she felt compelled to try. The boy had achieved near miraculous impossibilities before, so maybe just somehow he had one left for her.

"Arnold…" she murmured to herself.

Throughout the school day, Lila kept a close eye on Arnold. She knew she would have to wait for him to separate from Helga before she could put her plan into action. What exactly her plan was, even she didn't fully know, but she did know Helga wouldn't suffer Arnold being alone with her regardless. From morning classes, to the lunch period onto their afternoon classes she watched as the two of them patently refused to separate. She wasn't so fixated on her crazy idea that she couldn't appreciate the irony that she now found herself in the position Helga likely was for years. Thinking back to their fourth and fifth grade years, Lila reflected on the time when Arnold had been relentlessly infatuated with her. In all that time she had been open and honest with him that she simply didn't feel the same way, and yet she had never exactly completely told him off either. Some might have suspected she simply liked the attention, but Lila had her motives beneath it all. The most basic reason was simply that she didn't have the heart to crush him completely, so she let him hold onto a sliver of hope for some time, but in hindsight she realized that may have been even crueler. Still, that wasn't the primary reason she never quite severed ties with him, but she didn't care to dwell on that.

At last the school day came to an end, and Lila found herself no closer to getting a minute with Arnold alone. As all the students began exiting the building, she discretely followed Arnold down the hall, and her heart sank once again when Helga appeared and linked hands with him.

"One side, people!" Helga cleared the crowds in front of them, "It couple, coming through!"

"Helga…" Arnold said slightly scoldingly.

"Sorry, football head, I can't help myself." she shrugged, "Years and years of pent up whatever coming out."

"Hey, Helga?" Arnold asked.

"Yes, darling?" Helga responded in an airy voice.

"Listen… I think it's great that you want to hold hands and be open about all this nowadays but…"

"You're breaking up with me?" Helga gasped as she dropped his hand and covered her mouth in shock.

"What?" Arnold asked in surprise, "No! No, no!"

"Sorry." she said quickly, with a sparkle in her eye, "Just a test of the emergency breakup system. Go on."

Arnold chuckled, "Well, on that note, can we maybe just break up for… I don't know, just an hour?" He grinned.

Helga started chastising him, but her tone suggested this was all a game.

"Oh sure, you spend all this time trying to get me to be open and lovey dovey and crap, and then you just go ahead and change what you want out of this relationship?" she growled, "Seriously, one minute you want one thing and the next you want the opposite? That's what girlfriends do! We own that, bucko! Don't cut in on our turf!"

Arnold and Helga glared at one another, but then their strained frowns broke as they both burst into laughter.

"Aw, man…" Helga laughed, "Alright, alright, I'll give you some time off for good behavior."

"Thanks, Helga." Arnold smiled, "I just need to go for a walk on my own… clear my head a little. I've got a lot on my mind."

"Guess there's not a lot of room in that head of yours for too much information." she snickered, "Fine. Hey Feebs!"

Helga called out to her friend Phoebe who came flitting up to her.

"Come on, I'm starting a 'We Hate Arnold Club.'" she joked, "I need a VP. Only temporary though, the group should be dissolved by tonight."

Phoebe laughed, "Okay, sounds like a good time."

Phoebe shot a wink at Arnold, clearly in on the whole charade. Arnold smiled at them both and waved as he headed off alone.

"Come on, I need you to frame a constitution for me," Helga said.

"Framing!" Phoebe said, as she pulled out a notepad.

"Right, we the people do hereby pledge our eternal hatred for that stupid, amazing, wonderful little football-headed fool, and do hereby reserve the rights to bear…"

Helga's words began to trail off as she and Phoebe faded out of sight. Lila, having observed the entire scene at last saw her chance, as if some divine presence had gifted it to her on a silver platter. She couldn't help but marvel at the chemistry Arnold and Helga shared. Helga had matured a little since Lila had first known her, but she was still very sassy and sarcastic, but Arnold seemed to enjoy that and just gave whatever abuse she hurled at him right back in a playful manner. Lila reflected and thought if she and Arnold ever had hooked up, he likely would have gotten bored with her quickly. She followed at a distance behind Arnold until she was absolutely sure Helga was out of the picture. When she felt certain the girl was gone, Lila hurried up behind Arnold and called out to him.

"Arnold?" she asked.

"Oh, hey Lila." Arnold said as he turned to face her. "How's it going?"

"Oh everything's just ever so perfect, of course," she said, lying through her teeth, "But… I was wondering, if you don't mind and didn't find it terribly intrusive… could I possibly have an ever so short word with you?"

Arnold smiled at her, "Well, sure Lila."

"Alone?" she asked, glancing around back and fourth.

Arnold's smile vanished. Lila realized this wasn't normal behavior for her, which likely had thrown him for a loop.

"Um, I was just heading to the park." Arnold said, "I guess we could talk there?"

"Oh certainly," Lila agreed, "That sounds like the perfect place. Lead on."

When the two preteens reached the park, they came to a stop on the bridge overlooking the stream below. Neither of them had said much on their way over and both felt slightly awkward now. Lila still didn't entirely know what she was playing at, but she felt compelled to seek Arnold's aid.

"So, what's going on Lila?" Arnold asked, "Is everything all right?"

"You're always helping people, Arnold," she said, "And I don't think I've ever really asked you for your help before but…"

"Well, what is it?" Arnold asked, smiling warmly again, "You know me, always happy to help a friend."

"Yes, and I'm ever so glad that you still consider me a friend, in spite of our ups and downs over the years," she said.

The look on Arnold's face suggested he didn't really care to dwell on their past flirtations, and he looked at her stoically.

"Yeah." He said flatly, "Yeah, I guess so. But, what do you need help with?"

"Yeah…" Lila said woefully, "This might be… well it might be a very tall order, and I feel ever so bad about placing this kind of weight on your shoulders…"

Arnold's smile had now completely faded, as he clearly regretted agreeing to this meeting. Lila couldn't blame him, but she knew he'd regret it even more if she continued in her current line of thinking.

"Well, where to start…" she sighed, then looked at him with a forced smile, "I'm just ever so happy that you found your mother and father last summer."

Confused, Arnold scratched the back of his neck, unsure of how that subject had just come about.

"Well, thanks." he said, "It's been great… different, but great."

"You must have felt just so overwhelmed to find them still alive and… I can't imagine how you used to feel." Lila said. "You know, with them being mysteriously gone…"

"Um…" Arnold didn't know how to respond now.

"Perhaps like… like some kind of gaping hole in your heart?" she asked.

Arnold was now visibly uncomfortable with her leading questions and just nodded reluctantly. Undeterred, Lila pressed on.

"Forgive me if this is a personal question, Arnold," she started, "But… in all the time your mom and dad were gone… did you ever think they were… well, really gone? I mean… gone gone?"

Arnold blinked. There was no going back now. Lila felt she had just crossed into a zone of no return. For all his discomfort and reluctance, Arnold nodded and slowly found his words.

"Um," he stuttered, "I-I, uh… well I guess it's complicated. A part of me always believed they were still alive somehow, but I guess I also thought it was probably impossible."

"But… you never think anything is impossible, do you?" she asked, "You're too idealistic. You never give up hope on anything…"

Arnold slowly nodded, "Yeah. I just always tried to look up and just keep on moving forward. But now and then it did come up and, well… it hurt." Then he looked at her searchingly, and asked, "Why are you asking me about this now?"

"What really happened?" Lila asked, with growing intensity in her voice, "I'm sorry. I just haven't really talked to you much at all this year, and I've heard so many rumors. How did you find them?"

Arnold stared at her. There were hundreds of stories to come out of the class trip to San Lorenzo, but the most intriguing one remained shrouded in mystery to all but a select few; the actual discovery of Arnold's parents. Arnold hadn't been tight lipped about finding them, but the actual details of how they had been apparently rescued by his efforts remained cloudy at best. Everyone else seemed perfectly content with the explanation that he had just found them, but Lila's curiosity had now driven her to seek answers. His parents had been isolated in a remote location outside of modern civilization for a decade, and somehow survived. Lila knew there had to be more to this story.

At last Arnold relented and slowly and carefully began explaining the details.

"I mean… you probably wouldn't even believe me if I told you." Arnold said, "But… they first went back to San Lorenzo to help cure some kind of rare sleeping sickness. It was affecting a tribe of people they had some close relationship with, and my parents were the only outsiders with the medical knowledge that they trusted. But I guess…" Arnold paused as if still having trouble discussing the subject, "I guess they ended up catching the sickness, too. That's why they never came back. For ten years they were… well they were in a coma."

Lila's eyes widened. She nodded with interest to encourage him to continue.

"And you… saved them?" she asked.

"Somehow." Arnold said, "I don't even know how it all worked but… yeah. Gerald, Helga and I we… we found a way. It was like some kind of magic really… I'm still not sure how we did it. It was like a…"

"A miracle." Lila said with strange excitement in her voice.

"I guess." Arnold shrugged.

"You… you made them come back." Lila said, "It was impossible but you made it happen. Oh Arnold, I've always known you were some kind of hero, but I never thought you could perform actual miracles… you… could you make another one happen? Somehow?"

Arnold stepped backwards as Lila got uncomfortably closer and closer.

"Miracle?" Arnold asked, "W-what are you-"

"You can do anything!" Lila exclaimed, "You're really an amazing person Arnold… oh I'm so sorry I didn't see it before! You never had that oh so special something I was looking for in a boy, but that's because I wasn't looking for the right special something! You always had something just oh so much more special than that oh so special thing I was looking for!"

As Lila's tone grew increasingly hysterical, the look on her face had become positively ghoulish. Arnold felt completely perturbed by her strange behavior. This was not the Lila he knew, and he felt fairly alarmed.

"What are you talking about, Lulu- I mean, Lila?" Arnold stuttered.

"You're a miracle boy!" she said, sounding uncharacteristically crazed, "I need a miracle, don't you see? I need a miracle!"

"Yes…" Arnold said, "You've made that clear but… what kind of-"

"It's a miracle that your parents came back, and now I need a miracle too!"

"My parents?" Arnold asked in confusion, "What do they have to do with any-"

"My mother!" she said at last, as hot tears burst forth from her ducts.

Arnold's jaw dropped, and he looked back at her helplessly.

"Your mother?" he repeated, "You… you said you visited her this summer…"

"You could… you could make her come back! Couldn't you?" Lila asked, now fully in hysterics.

Arnold tugged at his collar, "I mean… I've patched up relationships before but… I don't know if I could…"

"No, Arnold, she and my daddy aren't divorced, don't you see? She's gone!" she cried out, then said quietly, "Gone gone."

Arnold's perplexed look vanished and was replaced by sudden understanding. That look too abruptly disappeared when he realized just what Lila was apparently asking of him.

"Lila…" he said quietly, "I never knew, but… you think that I… I can't…"

"Why not?" Lila said through her sobs, "You haven't even tried… you can do the impossible! You always do! Your mother came back so why can't…" She broke down and fell on her knees.

Arnold felt completely overwhelmed. He had so many conflicting emotions in this moment he had no idea what to do beyond remain still. He felt deeply sad and sorry for the girl, but at the same time she had basically just asked him to somehow perform a resurrection. Realizing he had just told Lila about how he had awoken his parents from essentially a sleeping death however, he couldn't deny he could kind of see her reasoning behind it. Nonetheless, he refused to think of himself as anything divine, even if he had an entire ancient civilization that seemed to think so. He looked down at Lila who was still bawling on the ground at his feet.

Arnold looked up at the sky and moaned quietly to himself, "There are so many nice girls in the world. How do the crazy ones keep finding me?"

* * *

**_I realize I had Lila go kind of crazy in this 'humanizing story' for her that I touted back in chapter one… but I really wanted to explore an extreme side to her personality that we never saw hiding beneath her unfailingly pleasant and serene disposition, kind of like Olga. I also realize her even momentarily believing that Arnold could actually find a way to bring back her mother is a little nuts (I mean, Arnold was always kind of vaguely Christ-like, but not THAT Christ-like), but I always suspected Lila was just a little mental beneath the surface and holding back some heavy feelings. Speaking of which, this story keeps getting heavier and more involved than I planned... there's no way if this were an actual episode it would be under 45 minutes... ah the joy of non-canon fanfiction. _**

_**Next chapter, after catching Lila with her man, Helga will offer her the kind of patient and rational understanding that she's known for… *gulp***_


	4. Betsy's Reckoning

**Warning: As with so many of my other stories, in the process of actually writing this one it evolved in a few areas. I had always planned for a big Helga/Lila confrontation but… well, let's just say it gets a little more brutal than I originally intended.**

**Also, shoutout to **EnvytheSkunk **for pointing out to me an angle I hadn't considered, that being Lila may be stuck in the early stages of grief. That would add another layer to her overtly nice and pleasant exterior… the poor girl is living in denial and hasn't yet coped with some feelings about her mom. I worked that into this chapter.**

* * *

Arnold looked back down at Lila, normally a paragon of class and modesty, who was now crying at his feet. "Look, Lila, I don't know what you're asking of me here… well, I guess I do, but if it's what I think then… that's just not possible."

"I know…" she said at last, having gotten a hold of herself. "I… I'm sorry. You must think I'm crazy."

"No, not at all," Arnold lied, "You're just… I mean… Lila? Have you ever really talked about this with anyone?"

Lila shook her head, then stood up, leaned over the railing and stared down at the flowing water below.

"Not extensively," Lila admitted.

"You've always just seemed so… positive," he said, "I mean, people say I always look on the bright side but… that means at least seeing that there is a dark side, and I thought you never even saw a dark side to anything."

"Yes, that would be the impression I try to give… to everyone and myself," she sighed. "I try not to dwell on what's past but lately… I just couldn't help it."

"Why not talk about it then if it's just eating you up inside?" Arnold asked.

"I never wanted to unload my problems on anyone else," she said, "When Daddy and I first moved here after Mommy passed away, things were hard enough on him. I couldn't just add to his burden. I had to just stay positive for him. And for me too."

"That must have been really hard," Arnold said, starting to understand her genuinely.

"Yes… as I look back I think I may have been living in denial." Lila admitted, then looked upward in thought, "What do they say the stages of grief are? In hindsight, I don't think I've ever fully gotten past the denial stage…"

"Oh," Arnold said, "I uh… I guess I never really did either with my parents."

"It worked for you though, didn't it?" Lila asked. "Arnold I'm so sorry… you don't deserve my anger, but when I met your mother I just felt like… like it wasn't fair. It made me ever so angry inside…"

"Which then leads to the bargaining stage of grief." Arnold nodded in understanding.

"Yes… and now comes the depression stage…" Lila sighed.

Arnold thought back to how he used to feel about his parents. With Lila's mention of the stages of grief, he realized he too had lived in denial for a while, and maybe he dealt with some anger too, but it occurred to him he may have been living in the bargaining stage even longer than Lila.

"Can I tell you something?" Arnold asked.

"Yes?" she asked.

"I don't know if you want me to try to… relate to you on this, but… like you said before, I'm always helping people," Arnold said, "And I guess I am, but I never really thought about why I do. I always kind of just assumed I did things for people because it felt like the right thing to do. But now I think… I think you've helped me understand something about myself."

"What's that?"

"Without knowing what really happened to my parents, I went around feeling like there was a hole in my heart," he said, "Maybe that's why I've always been the way I am. I think I've always tried to compensate for that empty feeling… so I tried to be extra good because of some of the darkness in my life. I never really connected that with my parents but… maybe in the back of my mind I thought if I did a lot of good in the world, then maybe they might… come back. I guess… I guess in that sense, I've been through the bargaining stage too."

Lila nodded.

"I guess it is kind of a miracle that I found them. I'm sorry I can't do the same for your mom…" Arnold said.

"I know you can't…" Lila sighed, "I think that may have been some desperate cry for help on my part… but thank you for talking with me about it. I think… I think maybe I can try to move forward with the help of people like you, Arnold."

"Hey, any time you need someone to talk to," Arnold said warmly, "You know, if you're dealing with confusing emotions or whatever."

"Yeah," Lila dared a smile, "I have felt confused… I even started thinking that I… well, that I liked you liked you again…"  
Arnold's eyes went wide and he took a step back, but Lila quickly shook her head to try to reassure him.

"No, no! Don't worry, Arnold." she insisted, "I was just… confused is all. It's okay. I wouldn't come between you and Helga. I mean… heaven knows what she would do."

Arnold laughed, "I think we'd both be dead."  
"Oh Arnold…" Lila sniffed, then smiled at him, "Thank you so much. Maybe you aren't a miracle worker but…"

Instinctively, Lila threw her arms around him and hugged him. Arnold was slightly taken aback, but he smiled.

"You're a true friend, Arnold." she said.

"I try to be." Arnold said.

"I don't know what I did to deserve you in my life but-"

"Arnold!" a shrieking voice cut through them both like a knife. To their horror, they looked up and saw Helga, her face red with fury and her eyes burning like two brilliant blue flames, stomping towards them.

"Helga!" Arnold gasped, and instantly regretted looking surprised and alarmed, knowing that would be seen as an admission of guilt. He then foolishly made it worse by saying, "Were you following me?"

"Uh, doi! This is me we're talking about!" she shouted, "But what gives? We pretend to break up for one stinking hour and you go crawling back to her? I thought this was over!"

"It is!" Arnold assured her, "We're not… Helga, just let me explain!"

"Better talk fast!" Helga shouted angrily. She raised her fist and fought back tears, "Old Betsy isn't known for her patience!"

"Helga, please," Lila begged, "Don't be mad at Arnold. He didn't do anything wrong, I promise…"

Helga glared at her with unrivaled hate burning in her eyes, "Oh yeah? Confessing to our own guilt, are we? Little Miss Perfect?"

"No, I just-" Lila desperately tried to explain but was quickly cut off.

"I always knew you were a fake…" Helga hissed, "You've had everyone else fooled all this time but I could always see right through you… just cuz you're popular, smart, funny, and the prettiest girl in school you think you can just take him from me? What kind of twisted little freak are you? Arnold pines for you forever, you break his heart over and over, and then once I finally muster the courage to make my move suddenly you're all over him again?"

"Helga, listen, it wasn't like that!" Lila pleaded, "I know how this must look, but…"

"Aw, save it ya hillbilly!" Helga snorted, "Go back to the barnyard where you belong, already!"

In that instant, something snapped in Lila's brain. She had been raised to be a polite and proper lady, and to never stoop to the sort of savage nature of people like Helga. She had let Helga's general nastiness roll off her back for years now, but suddenly she couldn't stomach it anymore, and not just for her own sake, but for Arnold's.

"You…" Lila growled in a hostile tone that seemed to unnerve Helga, "You… you know what? I was happy for you two! I was glad you found happiness with Arnold but… but you don't even deserve him! He's a nice boy and you're… you're just awful!"

"I don't have to apologize to you for what I am!" Helga shot back, "Yeah! I'm a jerk! I own that! You? You're just a fake!"

Caught up in the heat of the moment, Lila reached for what she knew would hurt Helga.

"I don't know why he even likes you…" Lila said in a hushed tone, "It must have been just ever so painful to see him chasing me for so long…"

Helga's eyes narrowed and she furrowed her brow, fixing Lila with a look of challenge.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones…" she hissed, "…but I will freaking kill you!"

"Lila… Helga please just listen…" Arnold pleaded.

"You're right, dearest, where are my manners?" Helga raised her fist, "We should settle this like proper ladies instead of all this senseless talking…"

Without warning, Helga charged ahead, and Lila to her own personal shock did likewise. Arnold watched in horror as the two girls became locked in brutal combat. Arnold was normally one to attempt to break up a fight, but seeing these two girls screeching wildly as they pulled at one another's hair and kicked madly had him petrified with fear. The number of scraps Helga had been in gave her an obvious edge over the normally pacifist Lila, but to both Arnold and Helga's surprise the girl was holding her own against Helga.

"Helga!" Arnold at last shouted, "Stop! Don't hurt her!"

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, darling…" Helga grunted. "I'm just getting started!"

At last, Helga managed to force Lila to the ground and now seemingly had her at her mercy.

"Say goodnight, ya little country flower!" Helga shouted.

In her rage, she raised her fist and slammed it downwards aiming for Lila's face, but instead to her shock she found it had been intercepted by Lila's own hand. Lila held Helga's fist tightly, and pushed her arm back with surprising force. Helga's eyes widened as Lila shockingly demonstrated her superior strength.

"Don't forget… I'm a farm girl…" Lila grunted, "I'm not as dainty as I look!"

Then with all her strength Lila threw Helga off of her, and stood up victoriously. Helga sat on the ground slightly dazed as Lila stood over her with her fists still clenched.

"Shoveling hay and horse manure daily… good for the upper body," Lila panted, then added, "City girl…"

Helga stood up and just glowered at her, and while her face may not have shown it, Lila could sense that she had just somehow gained an ounce of respect from her.

"Look… I was just feeling a little sad about something and I came to Arnold for help." she explained.

"You?" Helga laughed, "What could you possibly have to be sad about?"

Lila's anger vanished. She knew she wouldn't get anywhere without just telling the truth.

"My mother…" Lila said softly.

"Your mother?" Helga huffed. "Where does Arnoldo figure into that subject?"

"Because he's got one now." Lila said firmly, "And I lost mine..."

"Ah, she'll turn up." Helga callously dismissed her.

"Helga!" Arnold gasped in shock at Helga's insensitivity, but Helga ignored him.

"You know oh too well what I mean..." Lila said, with fresh anger returning to her voice.

"Yeah? So, is that really supposed to be his fault?" Helga said as she crossed her arms, "What's the problem? I've got a mom, and you don't see that bringing joy to my life, do you?"

"Maybe not," Lila said angrily, "But on top of getting to share Arnold's mom, at least you can still go home to yours!" She shouted in Helga's face as tears gathered in her eyes. Then she spun on her heel and stormed off, leaving Helga and Arnold in a stunned daze.

"Well." Helga said, dusting herself off, "That could've gone worse I suppose. Made me hungry though. C'mon, let's go get something to eat."

"Are you kidding?" Arnold asked, "You really expect me to ignore what you just did?"

"Oh sure, I find you in the arms of your former crush, and just because I get a little defensive suddenly _I'm_ the jerk?"

"A little defensive? You tried to beat her up!" Arnold reminded her.

"Yeah, and failed!" Helga retorted, "I mean… seriously, who could have seen that coming? Not sure what they feed farm kids, but geez… and what about you? You told me you needed some 'time alone,' so what was I supposed to think?"

Arnold knew she was at least partially right, and sighed, "I guess but… look, I wasn't planning to run into Lila, but she came to me for help. What else could I do?"

"Tell her to go play in traffic?" Helga suggested, "That's what I'd have done."

"Then I guess that's the difference between you and me." Arnold said grimly.

That comment seemed to offend Helga.

"Oh, Mr. Self Righteous is back I see." she said.

"Helga, you really ought to look at his from her side." Arnold said, "You should be thankful you still have a mom. What you said to her... that wasn't cool."

"Fine. Take her side." Helga huffed, "I'm going home and you can just go think about what you did. See ya when you come around, Arnoldo."

And with that she stomped off in the opposite direction of her home.

"You live… at my house now…" Arnold muttered.

Later that evening, Helga sat alone in the room she now occupied at the Sunset Arms. It was even more run down and dilapidated than the rest of the building, but still a step up from the run down beeper emporium her parents had forced her to move into. Arnold's parents had done their best to fix the room up a bit, and while it didn't measure up to her old room in the house her family had lost to foreclosure, she loved this room more than any other space she had previously called hers. Here in this humble temporary home of hers she lived close to her beloved.  
Or at least, that's how she normally felt about it. After their little tiff over Lila, Helga couldn't even find the inspiration to write any of her usual gushy poetry expressing her undying affection for Arnold. Now she just sat and sulked, still waiting for Arnold to come and apologize. This didn't stop her from monologuing to herself, naturally.

"Hmpf, Arnold. The most loathsome boy that this cursed overactive libido of mine has forced me to worship throughout my tumultuous youth, has once again been foolishly lured in by the insipid siren song of_ Lila_… that cursed little twat who holds a special place of loathing in my heart. Just when I thought he had finally broken free from her wicked spell, she lures him in yet again with some ingenuous pretense over her despair for her lost mother. Coward! That she would hide behind such an obvious ruse only confirms my long held and well founded intuition, exposing her as the pretty little liar that she always-"

A knock at her door snapped her out of her increasingly dramatic proclamation to herself. Assuming it to be Arnold, she turned to the door with excitement, only to quickly feign anger.

"What?" she called out.

The door opened and not Arnold but his mother Stella poked her head in, "Helga?" she asked.

"Oh…" Helga said in embarrassment, "Hiya, Stella…"

"You didn't come down to dinner," Stella said, and as she stepped into the room Helga saw she was carrying a tray with a bowl of soup atop it.  
"I uh…" Helga fumbled for an excuse, "I wasn't hungry." She said as her stomach growled so loudly it echoed down the hallway.

Stella gave her a knowing look and Helga turned red.

"What? That's why I used the qualifier 'wasn't' hungry. Now I am. I've got my own schedule to adhere to, okay? Just… leave that on the desk I guess." Helga said.

"Are you okay Helga?" Stella asked.

"Of course." Helga said quickly.

"Helga, it's okay you know." Stella said reassuringly, "If you're missing your family."

"What? Those chumps?" Helga spat out, "Why would I miss them?"

"Because you love them." Stella said.

"I love nothing!" Helga shouted, "I mean… well… you know, at least I do like some things now and then. I'm somewhat fond of you for instance. And Arnold's alright, I guess."

"Hey," Stella sat down on the bed next to her, "Remember, you're always welcome here but… if you ever want to go home I understand."

"Oh no, no, no…" Helga said, "This place may be a total freak show but… well at least the food is good. That wins out over all."

"Helga," Stella placed a hand on the girl's shoulder, "We just want to make sure you're taken care of. That's all. We don't want you to forget your real family."

"No matter how hard I try?" Helga asked. "Yeah, yeah, you're not my mom… which is a net positive really… but thanks for trying."

"I know I'm not, Helga," Stella said, "And while we care about you just don't forget that your family does too. They're just a little mixed up right now."

"A salad is a little bit mixed up…" Helga muttered, "My family is… well, I don't even know if there's a proper food analogy for them. But whatever it is it's probably not appetizing."

Stella smiled at Helga. She straightened the pink bow atop the girl's head and then got up to leave. Helga watched her head for the door, then she called out.

"Hey, uh… thanks Mo-" She caught herself, "I mean, Mir- I MEAN… Stella…"

Stella smiled at Helga knowingly, "You're welcome, sweetie." And with that she closed the door behind her.

Helga reeled in embarrassment. She had nearly called Stella both 'mom' and 'Miriam,' much to her own shock. Ever since Helga had moved into the boarding house as a result of her crumbling home life, she had put her mother, father and sister as far from her mind as possible, but occasionally found them intruding on her thoughts. For some reason that lead to a strange feeling of guilt with regard to what she had said to Lila. Her thoughts spilled over into words from her mouth.

"Miriam… Bob… Olllllga…" she muttered, "Not one of them deserve to breathe the same air as me… because of course they think they deserve so much better. My being here in this bohemian squalor is a boon not just to me but to Patakis everywhere… oh who am I kidding? I'm not a Shortman… today only proved that… so what if the Patakis are a mess of narcissistic, raging jerks… maybe I'm the worst of them…"

She sighed, having now reflected on her earlier actions she felt deeply ashamed and disgusted with herself.

"Maybe Lila was right…" she sighed, "Oh Arnold… maybe I don't deserve someone so senselessly kind and patient and-"

Suddenly something nearby began to vibrate. Helga grabbed for her phone and looked at the caller ID. She didn't recognize the number, but somehow felt compelled to answer.

"Hello…?" she said cautiously after accepting the call.

There was a pause over the line. Then came a familiar voice.

"Hello Helga," Lila said.

Helga tensed up at the sound of Lila's voice.

"How did you get this number?" she demanded.

"You'll find I'm just ever so resourceful." Lila said calmly, "We need to talk."

Helga frowned, then said, "We did. Remember? What's left to say?"

"I don't know." Lila said, "But you need to come see me. At sundown."

Her words rang ominously in Helga's ears.

"Showdown at sundown, huh? Like the end of a bad western?" Helga asked. "So be it… I think you're right. It's time we ended this… once and for all."

"Where we last met." Lila said. "At sundown." And she hung up.

Helga breathed deeply. She knew what had to be done. Grabbing for her notebook she started drafting up a note she intended to leave for Arnold, before setting off to confront Lila one last time.

* * *

_**I'm an urbanite, but I went to college in Iowa, and got to know a lot of guys and gals who had grown up on farms. It cannot be coincidence that most of them were beastly strong… doing tons of chores growing up on a farm really does built up a lot of permanent upper body strength. I didn't originally plan to have Lila and Helga actually duke it out with their bare hands, but after I went that route I thought it would be funny if they got out of it with Lila basically briefly showing that she secretly possesses immense physical strength despite appearances.**_

_**Up next… the final showdown…**_


	5. Final Showdown

The warm glow of sunset blanketed the park, transforming the world of green into a crepuscular picture of yellow and orange radiance. The pink form of Helga too had turned yellowish in hue as she stepped closer and closer to the bridge above the stream running through the park. Over the horizon arose the silhouette of another girl, wearing a distinctive swing dress and riding boots. As Lila's footsteps drew closer Helga could swear she heard the sound of spurs jingling, but figured the girl must have had change in her pockets or something. This really did feel like some kind of western showdown, Helga thought, and Lila did look the part.

Lila now stood on the opposite end of the bridge, staring down her rival, and Helga could feel her blood run cold. She had long considered Lila to be a threat as a rival for Arnold's affections, but today she had also learned that the girl was also surprisingly physically strong too, despite her ladylike demeanor. Despite whatever fear she felt however, Helga mustered her courage and continued to slowly step towards Lila. At last the two girls came to a stop on the bridge, only about five feet apart from one another and just stared at each other in silence. For some time, neither girl said a word and just stared into each others eyes.

It was Lila who finally broke the silence.

"You came." she said.

"You left me no choice." Helga answered.

"I suppose there's no point in making small talk. We both know why we're here." Lila sighed.

"Yep." Helga too sighed, "I didn't want it to be this way but… we both know what has to be done…"

Both of them continued to stand in silence and stare each other down, both of them waiting for just the perfect moment to strike.

All the while, back at the boarding house, Arnold sat brooding in his room, unsure of how to try to amend things with Helga. He felt justified in letting her stew for a while. Even if he'd botched up trying to explain himself, he had to remind himself that neither he nor Lila had done anything wrong. He cared deeply about Helga, and understood exactly what her actions had stemmed from, but that insecurity of hers was proving dangerous on occasion.

A knock came on his door suddenly. He jumped up and assumed it had to be Helga.

"Come in." he called out.

It wasn't Helga who stepped inside, but his grandmother.

"Oh…" he said, "Hi Grandma."

"I bring a missive for you, sir knight," she said, holding up a folded over piece of paper.

"A what?" Arnold asked.

"Oh you know, fancy word for letter," she laughed, "What are they teaching you in school anyway? Oh well, here you go, dear."

Grandma handed him the paper and winked at him, then left the way she had come in.

Arnold had been expecting Helga, but as he looked at the note he figured it could only have come from her even if she hadn't come in person. Opening it carefully, he read the purple inked letters aloud to himself.

"Hey, Arnold. I'd say I forgive you, but there isn't anything to forgive. I'm sorry for flying off the handle like that. You know I have some trust issues, but I should know to at least trust someone like you. Anyway, if you're wondering where I am I went to have a heart to heart with Lila in the park and sort all this out. I'll be back soon."

Arnold smiled, feeling proud of Helga for coming around on her own, but then he suddenly went wide eyed with terror.

"Oh no…" he whispered to himself, then bolted for the door and flew out of the boarding house as fast as his short legs could carry him. He ran off towards the park, hoping to make it there before the girls killed each other.

Back at the park, the girls continued to stare at one another, both still waiting for an opening to exploit. It sounded as if the city around them had fallen silent, and neither of them heard a car nor person or anything else. In this moment nothing in the world existed beyond one another. The tension built. Helga felt a bead of sweat run down her forehead. She could see Lila's eye twitching. Both of them simultaneously took a huge breathe, and then suddenly and without warning both girls made their move.

"Sorry." they both said at once, then looked at each other in surprise and kept speaking in unison, "You're sorry? Why are you sorry? Okay, one at a time… you first!"

The two of them looked away from one another and they both turned a bit red.

"Seriously, Lila…" Helga said, "What do you have to be sorry about? I was the jerk… as usual."

"Well, I did lose my temper with you." Lila said, "And then I provoked you which led to our little fisticuffs."

"Please," Helga dismissed her, "Any sensible person would have lost their temper with me years ago. The fact that it took me this long to get something even slightly insensitive out of you… that speaks volumes about you."

"I understand why you were mad, really." Lila said, "If I saw you in the arms of the boy I loved, I'm sure I would be ever so cross too…"

"Uh huh," Helga nodded, "Well, Arnie and me were never going to work- I mean, never mind. I… I believe you, that Arnold was just giving you some advice. That's what he does. I was just… you know I get a little emotional and sometimes it sends me over the edge."

"Well, that's all right." Lila insisted, "We all do. This all started just because I've felt a little sad lately…"

"Right" Helga said, as a guilty feeling clutched at her heart, "And I'm sorry for that, too."

"It's okay," Lila said, "Just a few light bruises, nothing compared to falling off a horse."

"No, not for that," Helga said, "I meant about… you know… what I said about… mothers, and stuff."

Lila went slightly wide-eyed.

"Oh…" she said, "Gosh, I… you couldn't have known."

"Oh come on, any amateur sleuth could have put two and two together." Helga said, "Single dad and his daughter pack up and leave the country to move to the projects without even a job." she paused as she realized she was sounding insensitive again, "Sorry. What I mean is, you know, I guess that stuff I said about my mom triggered something with you, huh? I've got my own issues with Miriam but… but I guess you were right. I should just be glad that she's… well…"

"Alive." Lila finished for her, "It's okay, you can say it."

"I really shouldn't." Helga said, "Even when I'm trying to be nice I just come off all wrong. I'm just really bad at the whole 'nice' thing."

"It's okay, Helga." Lila said, "I know you usually mean well. I always just figured you were mean just to cover for your own deep insecurities and feelings of inadequacy, so I try not to take it personally."

"You're kind of creepy, sometimes," Helga said flatly, "You know that?"

"No, just ever so observant." Lila smiled in return. "How do you think I figured out your big secret in the first place?"

The two girls laughed lightheartedly together.

"Hey, Lila?" Helga said, "Thanks."

Lila looked at Helga with slight confusion.

"For what? Keeping your secret? Well of course." Lila said, "I would never have told… you did promise to strangle me with your bare hands if I did…"

"No, not that," Helga said, "I mean, thanks for… you know, for never loving Arnold back. I know how hard he tried… not sure how you ever resisted."

"Oh," Lila said, "Well, he's a nice boy of course, but I couldn't just give away my heart to every nice boy who liked me…" She then smiled smugly and said, "Where would it end?"

That got a laugh out of Helga.

"I'm sorry for what I said about you, before." Lila continued, "I know you're ever so much kinder than you pretend to be, Helga. But at the same time… well, would it surprise you to know that I actually greatly admire your outward fortitude?"

"Yes, yes it would." Helga said, "But go on."

"I mean, with my ever so quaint meekness I fear people don't always take me seriously." Lila said.

"Come on, are you joking?" Helga huffed, "Everyone adores you. You're kind of perfect. That's why it's so easy for someone like me to hate you. Seriously, it's no wonder you and Olga got on like a house on fire…"

"I appreciate the sentiment, but I'm far from perfect." Lila said. She then took a deep breath and bit her lip, before saying, "In fact I… well, I have an ever so dark little secret I've been sitting on that I'd like to get off my chest."

Helga's eyebrow raised with interest.

"Go on?" She asked.

Lila took a deep breath and pondered her words carefully, knowing they might make the difference between life and death.

"As you know, I've known about your feelings for Arnold for some time." she said.

"Uh huh." Helga said, crossing her arms.

"Well, after that unfortunate series of events that led me to believe that he liked me liked me, and I subsequently thought that I liked him liked him in return, but then found out that he only liked me, but then he actually did start to like me like me, but then I only liked him after realizing that the only reason that I thought I liked him liked him was because I thought that he liked me liked me, and-"  
"Paraphrase, please!" Helga blurted in frustration, "Sheesh, I think a nucleus just exploded in my brain from trying to diagram that sentence…"

"Sorry," Lila said, "Well, anyway, I found myself in an ever so precarious position after you told me your secret… Arnold liked me liked me, and I knew that you were in love with him. I was always honest with him that I just didn't share his feelings, but at the same time… I never completely crushed his hope either. I suppose you could say I was leading him on just a little…"

Helga's eyes narrowed.

"And the reason it took me so long to tell him off was that I… I…"

"You started to like him like him for real?" Helga asked.

"No." Lila stated with certainty, "No, I assure you that never happened. The reason was quite simply that I… well… oh how to say this?"

"Say what?" Helga asked, now more confused than angry or suspicious.

"I wanted to…" Lila gulped, "I wanted to make you jealous."

The sounds of chirping birds in the park suddenly fell completely silent as both girls looked at one another.

"Come again?" Helga asked through gritted teeth.

"But I wasn't doing it maliciously…" Lila insisted, "I wanted to make you jealous so that you'd… well so, that you'd finally tell Arnold the truth."

Another hush fell over them. Helga closed her eyes and took a long beleaguered sounding breath before she started to speak.

"That is without a doubt… the most low down, sick, twisted thing I have ever- actually I'm impressed." Helga said, her tone drastically changing from fury to amusement in an instant, "Seriously, how did I not think of something like that?" She mused.

"What?" Lila asked.

"You mean to tell me that in some roundabout ridiculous way… you've been in my corner this whole time?" Helga asked.

"I suppose so." Lila said, "Though, in a selfish way I also thought if you two finally got together, well, then Arnold would finally stop trying to court me."

"Son of a gun…" Helga remarked. "You just never can tell about anyone, can you?"

"But I did also think it was just ever so sweet that someone as surly as you could have a soft spot for such a nice boy." Lila insisted.

"Yeah, yeah, it's a love story for the ages," Helga said sarcastically, "You and me on the other hand… I guess we've got some kind of weird, twisted, messed up friendship but… well, it's ours."

Lila smiled warmly, and Helga reciprocated. She then stuck out her hand for Lila to shake, but Lila walked right through her hand and wrapped her arms around her.

"Hey now…" Helga said, "Let's not get too cozy here…"

"It's just a hug," Lila giggled.

"I'm not a very huggy person…" Helga grumbled.

"Okay, okay, I understand." Lila released her.

The two girls looked at one another, for the first time seeing one another as actual friends as opposed to partners in some twisted machiavellian alliance.

"Well, it's a Friday night, wanna go do something?" Helga asked.

"What?" Lila asked, "Just you and me?"

"Yeah, sure." Helga said, "I mean, if we're going to be friends or whatever we might as well. C'mon, let's go hit a movie. My treat. Evil Twin IV is out."

"Gosh, Helga. I don't really like scary movies…" Lila said.

"C'mon, live a little." Helga insisted, "You're with me, what've ya got to be afraid of?"

Lila reconsidered, deciding this could be just the remedy for the crushing loneliness she had been feeling as of late.

"Well… okay." she said. "What about Arnold?"

"Ah, Football Head needs some time with his folks." Helga said, "Gotta give the kid some breathing room without suffocating him."

"Helga!" the voice of Arnold suddenly rang out.

Helga turned to see Arnold running towards them.

"Speak of the devil…" she snickered, "Hey, football head. What's the rush?"

"You…" Arnold panted, winded from running all the way from the boarding house, "… I was… I got your note… I just had to… you… you're not fighting?"  
"Fighting?" Helga asked coyly, "Why would we be fighting?"

"Um… over me?" Arnold asked.

Helga and Lila looked at one another and grinned mischievously.

"Oh Arnold, don't flatter yourself," Lila joked, "You're not worth fighting over."

"Seriously," Helga joined in, "Does it always have to be about you? Arnold, Arnold, Arnold… being a demigod to the Greeneyes is really going to your football head, huh?"

"But you… you were both trying to claw each others eyes out just a few hours ago…" Arnold reminded them.

"Oh that was just girl talk," Helga said, "You wouldn't understand."

Arnold felt no less concerned, "But…"

"Relax, Arnold, no need for your brand of diplomacy here." Helga assured him, "We talked it out."

"You… you did?" Arnold asked.

"What?" Helga asked, "Surprised I negotiated lasting peace without your intervention? Please. I can be diplomatic when I choose to be."

Arnold still looked to be in slight disbelief, but smiled all the same, "I'm glad to hear that."

"I'm ever so sorry for intruding on your harmonious relationship." Lila said to Arnold.

"Now if you'll excuse us, we're gonna go hit a movie. Have a girls night," Helga said, "I'll be back later, don't worry. Go on. Go spend some quality time with your folks."

Without another word, Helga and Lila walked off towards the movie theater, leaving Arnold staring in their direction still feeling lost and confused. As they disappeared from sight however, he smiled contentedly, relieved that the two of them had at long last buried the hatchet.

Lila had enjoyed her time with Helga. The two of them had managed to discover they had more in common than they had ever cared to notice. Lila found herself charmed by Helga's impish and relentlessly biting sense of humor, and Helga similarly felt her heart warmed by Lila just being Lila. To alleviate Lila's fear of the horror movie, Helga had made loud sarcastic commentary throughout the entire showing, and eventually drew Lila into her mockery of it. Even after their riffing on the movie had gotten them both kicked out of the theater, they still felt thrilled by the growing bond between them. Helga had somehow reignited Lila's optimism for life, only now rather than feeling the need to force it she finally felt she could look on the bright side without a trace of doubt hidden behind a false smile.

The following night, Lila donned her best ensemble in preparation to meet a very special guest in her home.

The doorbell rang, and Lila could hear her father greeting their guest. With a deep breath Lila stepped down the stairs and saw her father waving to her. To his side stood a woman with a kindly face smiling up at her. She looked nothing like her mother, but the warmth of her smile instantly managed to evoke the same sort of feelings in Lila's heart. Once again, she could hear a familiar voice in her mind speaking, and ushering her to return the woman's smile as she approached her. Lila welcomed both her and this new chapter in her life.

The End

* * *

_**Anyone remember that weird ass edit at the end of the episode "Olga Comes Home"? Where there's a sudden flash, followed by still shots of Helga and then Olga and their skin tones have turned dark blue? Apparently one of the co-directors wasn't quite satisfied with the original ending and thought they needed a little moment of tension between the sisters before Helga accepted Olga's offer to spend the weekend together. It was apparently supposed to look like some kind of anime face-off between them, where we were supposed to wonder if they would be friends or enemies… so the directors just messed with the finished animation a little bit to make those freeze frames. Much like we the audience, Craig Bartlett said when the creators first screened that episode, no one knew what the hell that meant. I was picturing the same kind of visuals between Lila and Helga as they faced off in silence on the bridge… tee hee.**_

_**Anyway, hope you enjoyed this one. I just randomly wanted to write a story where Lila and Helga simply confronted their animosity towards one another and eventually reconciled, but... I think this ended up being my favorite story to write so far. **_

**_Anyway, favorite and review! My ego is insatiably hungry and always needing to be fed... lol_**


End file.
